The death of Brick & Mortar

The end of an era.

A few nights ago I got the itch to see a movie. I can usually scratch it via my collection, or the discount bin @WalMart. Like books if it is something I enjoy, I prefer to own it as I have been constructing a prose, video and music library for sometime now. I don't go to theatres anymore. The idea of going in alone is unbearable. I suppose I could find another person to go with, but, to me, that is worse. A treachery.

Standing where I was (in a massive strip mall that use to be half dirt, half tennis courts for senior-citizens.... but that's over 20 yrs ago). Ten yrs ago there were two movie rental places w/in walking distance of that spot; one a chain, one a Mom 'n Pop.

I also knew that the Blockbuster by former employer of 5 yrs had recently closed. So I searched my phone --> "movie rentals 92673" The search found the defunct Blockbuster on Pico and the one on PCH [the one my One & Only and I used to rent from!!!!]

I raced down there.

Vacant.

Gutted.

I wanted to rent! I wanted to see True Grit because Jeff Bridges is in it + Coen Bros. But I haven't seen it so I don't WANT to buy it - maybe it sucks! Unlikely, but I'm too poor to bet $14.95 on it! I wanted to see Battle: Los Angeles because I love LA [and consequently would like to see it LEVELED] and could tell this was one of those movies where they hired B actors so they could spend the remaining $100mill on FX. I KNOW I don't want to own this one - but I DO want to see it. once.

I don't like RedBox, because as soon as you step up to the damn thing, 3 SoCal-in-a-huge-hurry-so -hurry-the-f***-up types file in behind, then 6, then 9.... *sigh* RedBox has taken the Popular/New-Releases section, in so doing eliminating anything decent made before 2010 and the best part - BROWSING. They've also automated the process and eliminated countless jobs.

Why worry? There's a cascading effect here that Amazon, eBay, RedBox, et al. are creating dear reader. The Borders @ Sunset & Vine? Closed. Borders @ Oso Pkwy? "Going out of Business sale."

1st the B&M movies ... then B&M Books. What's next? Oh that's right. Tower Records went belly up years ago.

btw - is it ironic that I am using the same medium [internet] that, as it bulldozes Mom 'n Pop stores and chains alike, also give me a free medium to gripe about it? Or is it a coincidence?
A famous writer/editor once told me that in the Alanis Morrissette hit "Ironic" all the scenarios she poses "...rain on your wedding day/free ride when you've already paid..." are ALL coincidences, NOT ironies???
Maybe this should be the weekly "food for thought" section.

Featured Author: Carolyn Parkhurst
I have just received a copy of her 3rd novel (I read her 1st; Dogs of Babel, in one sitting)

"There are some stories no one wants to hear."

this is the 1st sentence in her latest: The Nobodies Album. I anticipate a roller coaster ride .... in Dogs of Babel, Parkhurst takes the reader from unimaginable tragedy (well, to me it is, but anyway) gut wrenching emotion, to intrigue and suspense, to a tangent that will blow you out of your chair (and if you are a big-time heavy-hitting "dog lover" I must warn that Parkhurst explores unspeakable animal abuse. And Nazis). I just hope it's not like Little Children ... I liked the book so much I bought Tom Perotta's next novel; Which is about a stoner who plucks at his guitar all day and listens to the washer/dryer hum. UNREADABLE. And I like Little Children more that Dogs of Babel, but Ill give Parkhurst the benefit of the doubt and report back.

And you, dear reader, thx 4 stopping by and do something fun this week.

Goodnight America...

Space program on hiatus.

I was not reassured by The White House that the USA will simply stop going to space from American soil for three years; and then it will suddenly start happening again. 

With the retirement of the 30-year-old shuttle and her two sisters; We no longer have a conveyance to take a person, or even a dog, back into space. We also have thousands more scientists, researchers, specialists and mathematicians (et al etc....) who will get the [what I now call] the One o'clock meeting email SUBJ: To discuss future projects for you. 

Then you accept and Outlook places the appointment neatly into your calendar. Whether you can read the writing on the wall or not, the little appt. box on the right-side of your Outlook window has a grimness about you cant quite identify. You take a 1/2 hr lunch @1230 ... and when you walk into the conference room with your notepad and pen - and you see that your boss is already crying and you know your career is about to take a drastic turn (which everyone assures you will be for the better).

What happened to the USA I grew up in? The America of Reagan ... and then Clinton? The last remaining superpower? What happened to free speech? religion? assembly? The right to bare(sp?) arms? Search&Seizure? The correlation of taxation and representation? PRIVACY? Equal protection?

Is it that some dark force has rend the fabric of this nation I grew up with the "full faith and [sic] protection of?"Or is it that I am just now old enough to know that The American Dream is just that .... a dream. 

And I sure wish I know what my only love, mentor and greatest teacher of all would say ... how I miss those marathon philosophical, scientific, metaphysical discussions.

And what of Dr. Sagan? 

Carl?

What would Carl say of the dismantling of NASA? That we simply can't afford to look to the stars, as our ancestors did, every night, for millions and millions of years...

Well. I can think of three hearts that just broke. again.

"We do not do these things because they are easy, but because they are hard."

President John F. Kennedy, re: The Mission to put a man on the moon

"The wind makes dust because it intends to blow ... taking away our footprints."

Specimens of Bushmen Folklore, L.C. Lloyd (1911)

In my effort to create a happy, loving, safe, "ruggedly-individualistic" world, where growth, healing, creativity and spirituality could take root and blossom forever, I was successful in that the most momentous, enduring, sensual, indescribable moments will live as long as two souls are not yet extinguished. in the end, In truth I wrought the exact opposite. Terror, suffering and decay. With luck it will be me that reaps the bulk (as close to 100 percent as possible) of the bitter fruit, as I sowed this dreadful harvest with clumsy hands and defect of common sense .... and watch the world collapse around me.

You know what the worst part about watching everything crash and rend asunder is? 

Watching it alone. With the full-knowledge that I am cursed to walk through this Wasteland for far longer than I wish and that I will be alone the rest of my days. May it be so.

Just me and my books. And my writing. 

Sleep well tonite. dear reader, for I know that it is likely that you suffer more back/neck/wrist/knee/sinus pain than I do, you likely have far more serious chronic disease issues than I do and on top of all that you probably have far more debt to pay off than I. You're underwater with your mortgage and and you're not sure how much longer you can feed your family, or when the process-server will have a seat next to you at the bar, or order a shot, put the 36-hr eviction notice in your hand, leaving you to wonder how much tents cost @ Big5, or if you really CAN sleep in front of WallMart.

Send me your pain tonite, America. Rest easy and let me carry the burden.

For just one night.

Goodnite America. Chris still loves you. Chris still has faith in you. We're going to be ok.

You and Me. Ok. Just stay here with me a little longer.

May it be so.

Happy 4th! / html test

Happy 4th one and all. 

235yrs America ... you don't look a day over 222. ($1 to Wayne Resnick, I'll postdate a check for Friday, no better make it Saturday because of .... well - today).

While others prepare their foul-smelling veggie-dogs, less-foul-smelling assembly-line USDA grade F patties and succulent tri-tip and NY Strip cuts**, blow shit up (legally or not), and find yet another excuse to binge-drink, start shit and get their faces smashed in (either by lack of balance or by messing with the wrong dude, ... or chick) - your humble reporter, writer, reviewers [and occasional pundit] reflects on our past, present and future.

-our glorious victories

-our dreadful mistakes

-our towering successes

-and the shame of our failures

I think about how I got some gas for $3.75/gal recently and how excited it made me, not 5 yrs ago that same price would have sent me into a tizzy-fit.

I think about the S&P500 going up a point, while UI goes up a pt. too.

How fragile the dollar has become. How China, Russia, Japan and God knows who else nip @ our heels and scramble to supplant the Estados Unidos as the world's foremost superpower.

Then my thoughts turn to the SEC, jerking it in their posh little offices to internet p*** while the NYSE crumbled; along w/ Americans' nest-eggs, 401ks, mutual funds, stocks and bonds.

Secrets and lies.

It wasn't the hummer that almost got Clinton impeached, it was that he lied about it later. Same for Mr. Weiner: the sexting (God I h8 that word) probably would have been tolerated until it came out that he was coaching his friends of the fairer sex how to lie to the press and investigators. Watergate, as a standalone B&E, did not force Nixon out of office it was the Executive coverup that severed ol' Dick's job security (no pun intended, yikes!).

Secrets and lies.

Past - Present - Future ... could it be that our morality will become the source of our ultimate success or failure as the "world's only remaining superpower?"

How have secrets and lies eroded your life? your family? your loved one(s)? 

Perhaps if we can stabilize our own backyards, then we can turn our energy and determination to our towns, cities, counties, states ... and this great* nation.

*my hopes and prayers this remains so; long after I am gone.

This is an awful transition but I am brushing up on my HTML, below a search engine for medication should appear:

Search prescription drugs on Drugs.com

On a personal note: The last two 4 July's were good, fun, exciting ... places to go, people to see. This time I have informed Mom, Dad and stepmom that I plan to take the 1 bus to the SC Pier ... but I just don't know if I have it in me. Why couldn't my checks have coincided w/ the holiday??? For me and everyone else on UI, WE get to spend the "weekend" (days make no difference after a few months of this life) with unpaid bills and empty stomachs, with naught but tap water to slake our thirst.

**We had a propane grill in college. We used to load up on steak, chicken, pork/lamb chops, dogs, patties - u name it, I could grill it. The smell that used to excite me with the anticipation of a mouth-watering meal to come... is now just another tease. Mocking me and pocking my empty stomach. I know just how to make up for it though - a very special person introduced me to a BBQgrill-type place that had unbelievably good tri-tip. (southside RSM - ladera ranch? off antonio, b4 u get to the dump, lft-hand side). I'm patient, I can wait. I can wait a looooooong time. 4evr if need be.